Welcome to my blog, ShiatsuShaman's Wife. I few years ago I thought I would never find love again. Divorce is about ending a relationship and being able to move on to a new life. I wanted to start on a happy note, so I start this blog with a marriage ceremony, a beginning of a new life. In this blog I will share my experiences, feelings, events and the path that I took to get here. Believe it or not, despite the despair of divorce the passion for life does come back. My passion is living healthily and holistically with Shiatsu Therapy as a culture (a way of life) and of course being married to the Shiatsu Shaman.
A year ago today I married my best friend. We have both been on our own separate journey for 28 years (married to other people and raising our family) since we graduated from David Thompson Secondary in Vancouver, BC. Five years ago, our paths crossed again, thanks to Facebook and Google. It was the Sunday of the Thanksgiving (2009) weekend that I finally agreed to go for a drink with John. Thinking it was harmless, after all, we were just a old friends getting together, wanting to catch up. Little did I know that seeing John, reminiscing and laughing about old times would spark a romance. John always had a way with words. Soon after that night I introduced John to my daughters who were 17, 16 and 12 at the time. I was still adjusting from being a stay at home married mom of 17 years to a working newly divorced mom. I welcomed the support of another adult close by helping with raising teenagers with rides to school and just have someone to share how my day went and just being there for me. It seemed our relationship just picked up where we left off, like we did not even miss a beat. I remember John saying that he was finally at peace with his life because we found each other again.
This blog is the story of my life as
the Shiatsu Shaman's Wife how I am healing my life.
Our Wedding was a beautiful day with close family and friends, totally personalized from the wedding ceremony to the reception. With the help of Rev Wendy Yacboski of WeddingCeremonyVancouver.ca our ceremony came to life and it was reflection of our values and beliefs. Rev Wendy is a nondenominational minister. She met with us a few times and took all of our wishes into consideration to make up a beautiful ceremony.
The wedding ceremony and reception took place in our home in Port Coquitlam, where John and I set up his Shiatsu Therapy Practice.
John and I wanted to acknowledge that it wasn't just the two of us coming together--it was the coming together of two families. Our children was the wedding party along with my niece. We had a sand ceremony to symbolize all of us coming together. Each member of the family had a different colour to represent them and each took turns pouring the sand into the container. Sadly, one of my daughters was not able to be with us, so she was represented by my niece.
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| Sand Ceremony |
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| Wine Ceremony |
"This cup is a sign of your unity. Although you are two distinct persons, both respecting the equal dignity of the other, you have chosen to unite your lives and to seek your happiness together. You drink from the same cup to be reminded that from this day forward you will share all that is to come, encompassing all sorrows and joys, all hardships and triumphs, all the experiences of life.
We chose my sister to read, "The Art of Marriage" by Wilferd Arlan Peterson. It goes like this:
Happiness in marriage is not something that just happens.
A good marriage must be created.
In the art of marriage the little things are the big things...
It is never being too old to hold hands.
It is remembering to say "I love you" at least once a day.
It is never going to sleep angry.
It is at no time taking the other for granted; the courtship should not end with the honeymoon, it should continue through all the years.
It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives.
It is standing together facing the world.
It is forming a circle of love that gathers in the whole family.
It is doing the things for each other, not in the attitude of duty or sacrifice, but in the spirit of joy.
It is speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways.
It is not looking for perfections in each other.
It is cultivating flexibility, patience, understanding and a sense of humour.
It is having the capacity to forgive and forget.
It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow.
It is finding room for the things of the spirit.
It is a common search for the good and the beautiful.
It is establishing a relationship in which the independence is equal, dependence is mutual and the obligation if reciprocal.
It is not only marrying the right partner, it is being the right partner.
It is discovering what marriage can be, at its best.
I made the black and white decorations from tissue paper from the various dollar stores. The Theme was Yin Yang.
Being a member of First Canadian Barter Exchange came in handy. Thank you to the Flower Box, Angelic Visions Formal Wear, Angelic Visions Photography, David Cooperstone of The Studio Video Facilties, our videographer and Amber Noakes, VP Marketing at FCBE.
I love to cook and entertain, so I did most of the cooking (of course I cooked the dishes ahead of time) with the help of my mom and sister. We made our family favourites and combined the two cultures of Portuguese and Filipino. Our wedding cake was made by Christina Mattiello.
In the 5 years that we have been together, the Shiatsu Therapy practice has undergone many changes.
Our move to Maple Ridge in April of 2014 was one that we were so excited about because it was a new and fresh start for both of us. In this blog I will go back to the past experiences for the purpose of sharing and telling you that you are not the only one that has gone through this tough time and to give you hope that time heals all wounds and there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
